To my brother, I believe you.

Growing up was fun. Incorrect, it was amazing. Having a twin was never really a massive deal for me. I never truly thought of it as an astonishing quality to my existence. Little did I know, it would come to be the most important fact about myself. This is Harrison. A Sophomore at Eastern Connecticut State University. He's an Elementary Education major with a concentration in Sociology, and he's gay. He's had to live with this "secret" his whole life, and I've never thought about how cumbersome that was for him until my adolescent development class. As if life wasn't hard enough already, he had to hide the truth about himself from everyone, including me. The unspoken magic to being a twin is the connection we share. It's hard to define if I'm being completely honest. People always ask about twin telepathy, Harrison and I tell people it's real, and they think we're joking. Fun fact: we're not. To say we know how each other is feeling would be a lie. However, we have a connection unlike any other. So how could he not tell me he was gay? Was he ashamed? Was he afraid I would reject him? These are the questions I struggled with. To make a long story short, I knew Harrison was gay. Inside, I have always known. I never approached him about it because I already knew. I didn't need confirmation from him. I also didn't need him to stress about telling me. In a way, I think he knew I already knew which is comforting. Life for Harrison and I has always been a ride. We are constantly searching for people funnier than us because we truly think we are the funniest people we know. Our lives diverged when we reached high school. He decided to attend a technical school, and I chose to follow my sisters footsteps and attend a small private high school. This is where Harrisons life truly changed. Somethings don't feel real until they happen to someone close to you. When Harrison was attending technical school he was bullied. Bullied for being his authentic self. He wasn't concerned with what other people thought about him, and he never has. He would come home and complain about the guys at his school because they were all immature and they would call him names. A truth Harrison and I knew too well. This forced Harrison to create a thicker skin. Nothing you said to him could penetrate his new armor. He carried this armor with him all throughout high school. It became his shield. It's unfair that he had to shield himself from the world, and other people got to live freely because of the way society portrayed what was acceptable. It was the summer of 2017, Harrison and I were driving on the backroads to a staple ice cream stand, jamming hard to music, and letting the summer air wash away all of our problems. Typical Bennet and Harrison fashion, we were dishing the dirt about what had occurred in the months prior to that exact moment. I was leaving for Saint Mikes in a few weeks, and Harrison was going to start school at ECSU. The conversation escapes me, but it led to Harrisons "coming out". He said "I'm gay" and immediately started laughing. When I say laughing I don't mean snickering or chuckling, I mean full on belly laughing as if he had just heard the best joke ever. I however, was sitting in the passenger seat, jaw on the ground, with nowhere to go. I was so mad because here I was, trapped in a car going 35 mph and I had no escape to process the news I had just heard. To this day Harrison still gets mad at me for getting mad. Being a more mature adult I know realize I was in the wrong. Harrison had been harboring a secret for the past nineteen years, a secret that has ruined relationships for other people, made people commit suicide because the feeling of rejection was swallowing them, and I got mad? Life for a member of the LGBTQ+ community is full of strife and sacrifice. If Harrison and I were born in the 1940's 50's or 60's, he could be sent to jail for being born a homosexual. He could be beaten and left for dead on the streets for being born a homosexual. He could be unemployed for being born a homosexual. He could be rejected from the family that raised him, and the mother who gave birth to him, for being born a homosexual. I stress the point of being born because in my opinion, no one chooses to be a homosexual. Just how no one chooses to be born with an allergy. There is no time in a persons life when they choose to have an allergy. Similarly, no one would ever choose to be gay. It's a hindrance on life that limits the ability for ones self expression. Talking to Harrison about being gay is always a conversation about his guilt. He stresses about telling our parents, and how he feels like he's lying to them. I assure him this should be the last priority on his plate because he has enough on his plate as it is. He volunteers at a pre-school, has a job, tries to find time to visit home, see friends, get his school work done, exercise, maybe eat a meal, and on top of it all, has to worry about people finding out he's gay. So, to my brother, and to every member of the LGBTQ+ community who is struggling with their place in life, I say to you. I believe you.